Parent's Page

This page has all the information listed under the "For Parents" title on the Site Link bar to the left.  You will find a wealth of information on each topic.  The right side of the page is filled with links by topic for additional study.

Parent's Stuff

Listed below are TIPS on the various topics listed for Parents.  There are ADDITONAL LINKS provided as well for your research.

Is my child a target?

Violence against children is increasing each year.  The kinds of violence perpetrated against children has grown dramatically more graphic as well.  Like most victims of crimes, there are characteristics that make one child more likely to be a victim than another.  Interestingly enough, the very characteristics that make us vulnerable as adults are the same ones that make us vulnerable as children to violence. The reasons for this are simple.  Children that have low self-esteem are more likely to latch onto someone that shows them favor. Children that are in deteriorated relationships with parents search for surrogate parents that will accept them as they want to be.  Children that are alienated and ostracized by the majority of classmates or friends are searching for acceptance.  These characteristics make these children easy targets for manipulation by adults. Manipulation takes many forms from sexual abuse to outright physical violence and murder.  Remember, children just want to be loved and accepted by their parents.  If one of these is an abuser, the child will accept the abuse as part of the relationship.  

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TIPS: Is my child a target.

My child may be a target if:

1. Low Self-Esteem
   

2. Longing for acceptance by a disapproving parent.
   

3. Disruptive  or violent relationships with parents and friends
   

4. Feelings of being disliked by friends or classmates.
   

5. Alienation from mainstream.
   

6. Easily controlled by fear or intimidation.
   

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Megans Law Website

Jacob Wettering Foundation

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children

Escape School

Center for Sex Offender Management

Association for Treatment of Sexual Abusers

National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Stop it Now!

School Safety

School safety is a big topic with parents.  There are so many issues at schools that invoke fear in parents.  The important thing to think about with regard to your child's safety at school is what your gut tells you.  If you child's school is a place frequented by gangs, drug dealers and has stationed police officers in it, there is an inherent risk in going there.  If your child's school is absent of those problems, the associated risk is less.  My best advice to parents is to get involved.  Meet with the administration during open houses and teachers conferences.  Ask them their opinions.  Work with the school functions and activities. Get to know your children's schoolmates. find out which ones are the trouble makers.  Teach your child the coping skills required to survive.

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TIPS: School Safety

You should:

1. Teach your children they are responsible for their own safety.
   

2. Teach your children that they can always call you if they are afraid and mean it!
   

3. Teach them to avoid classmates that are violent or involved with drugs and gangs.
   

4. Teach them that they should always talk to you about their fears and then be prepared to listen.
   

ADDITIONAL LINKS

National School Safety Center

Keep Schools Safe

Parent-Teachers Association

School Safety stats

Super Resource List for Teachers

Parents Resource List

National Parent Information Network

Talking with kids

Safety Ed International

Losing your children

Everyone loses their child at some point.  If you haven't and your children are grown, you simply were unaware they were lost.  Simply put, the easiest way to keep from losing your children is to not lose them.  That means you have to take the attitude that they are little convicts trying to escape.  They really are, you know.  They are unaware of the risks, especially when they are small and what is in front of them is more important than what they have already seen.  When you finally do lose your child, and you will, don't panic, stop and listen.  Immediately tell someone else and begin a search that proceeds quickly towards the exits.  Most likely the child has simply wandered off.  If the worst case scenario is unfolding and someone has taken your child, they have to get to the exit.  That is where you want to be.

There are many actions that you can do to teach your child coping skills when they are lost.  The TIPS guide to the right has the details. The one that I think is the most important is that of talking. Teach you child that it is okay to talk to people they don' know. the old business of "Don't talk to strangers" is a bunch of bull.  First of all, they will anyway.  It is much more important to teach them who to talk to and who not to talk to.  If you child is unafraid of talking to someone they don' know, then they are a long way down the road towards being reunited with you.  If they think that they cannot ask for help, the only sign they are lost will be when their emotions take over and they being to cry.  This may be after twenty minutes of wandering around aimlessly.  Don't put your child through it. 

As a parent or guardian, we must think about how our actions contribute to the risks that our children face.  If we as parents become lax in our vigilance over our children, it is easy for someone to snatch them.  We must take proactive steps to ensure that our children are protected and identifiable.

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TIPS: Losing your children

Life saving skills to teach to your children:

1. If you are lost, go to a person like mommy and ask for help. (Women are more committed to helping a child.)
   

2. If someone grabs you scream "Your not my daddy!" until someone comes for help and don't stop. Teach them to fight with them every way they can and to drop to the floor and be dead weight.
   

3. Never go with anyone you don't know no matter what they say or do.

Life saving actions for Mom and Dad

1. Make a picture  ID for your child and place it on the child if you are going on an outing where the child could become lost. i.e. park, zoo, mall.
   

2. Get your child finger-printed.
   

3. You would never leave your purse unattended so don't do it to your child either.
   
   

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Prepare your Child!!!  Great Site

Gavin De Becker's website

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children

Your Safe Child

Lost Children's Network

Paranoid sisters

Legal Handbook on Kidnapping

Meineke.org

Polly Klaas Foundation

Commission on Missing & Exploited Children

A Missing Child.com

Child Find of America

Missing Child.org

Babysitters

Lets face it, at some point no matter how much you love them you will want to escape for at least a little while.  That means only one thing for parents of small children. You will have to find someone to watch your kiddies.  This is one of the most difficult actions for new parents and many never get over it.  There has been a considerable amount of research performed that has provided some good guidelines for the babysitting dilemma.  

Basically, it comes down to three things. Finding and hiring a babysitter, what to do when the sitter arrives, and what to do when you return home.

Finding and hiring is easier than you think.  Recommendations are the best source. The TIPS guide to the right and left have the details.  You always want to check the sitter out very closely.

When the sitter arrives, make sure that all the information you would want is available to them.  Leave nothing to chance. Explain exactly what you expect in writing.

When you get home, take some time to look around.  Make some inquiries about the events of the day. Most importantly, once the sitter is gone, talk to the children and listen to what they have to say.

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TIPS: Babysitting Rules

When sitter is staying at home with children

1. Lock all doors
   

2. Children must be in view at all times.
   

3. No guests or visitors allowed.
   

4. When children go to sleep, they must be checked periodically.
   

5. Don't open the door to anyone but ask visitor to return another time.
   

6. Keep a log of the calls that come in.
   

7. Make clear what you expect the sitter to do if a child is injured or sick.
   

8. Make sure that you will not be angry if the sitter is afraid and wants to call you.
   

When sitter is going out with children

1. Children must be in physical contact with children.
   

2. Children cannot go to the restroom alone no matter what!
   

3. All vehicle windows and doors locked.
   

4. Take extra care in parking lots and at check-out counters.
   

5. Provide money for meals and snacks.
   

6. Get a contact number for the sitter while they are away. i.e. Cell phone number.

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TIPS: Babysitters

Finding and Hiring a Sitter

1. Recommendations are the best source.
   

2. Always check references indo a criminal check.
   

3. Always interview sitter at a time when you are not going to use them.
   

4. Look for signs of immaturity
   

5. Get all information from them as if you were hiring them for a job. i.e. name, address, telephone, DL #.

When the sitter arrives

1. Require early arrival.
   

2. Leave detailed list of contact numbers
   

3. Post the rules for the sitter in writing.
   

4. Explain the rules to the children in advance.
   

When you arrive home.

1. Question the sitter about the events.
   

2. Question the sitter about whether the children are well and safe.
   

3. Always make sure that your sitter gets home. Either call and confirm or escort.  Never let a sitter walk home alone, ever!
   

4. Most, important, take time to talk to your children about the sitter and what happened while you where gone.  Ask many questions and listen carefully to the whole answer. 
   

5. Always ask them if they felt comfortable with the sitter.
   

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Get-A-Sitter.com

ABC Babysit

Checkout your babysitter

Information for the Sitter

Babysitter Checklist

The internet

The internet is a complex place to roam.  The biggest problem with it in regard to safety is that there are no locked doors.  Any search can potentially bring pornographic material in ront of your child's eyes.  Furthermore, as children become more involved in their internet interaction, they often join chat rooms.  These only chat sessions are usually designed around a common interest such as a sport, TV show, favorite musician, etc.  People of all ages sign on and post their thoughts on the various topics listed.  A user can actually chat with another person in real-time by typing questions, answers and comments back and forth.  This is a happy hunting ground for Child Molesters.   These individuals often hunt for victims on these sites, slowly gaining the trust of the children they are corresponding with.  Sometimes they even suggest meetings, etc.  The bottom line is that you as a parent should keep a keen eye on your child's internet interaction.  If you feel you are invading your child's privacy, remember that a child molester won't mind at all.

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TIPS: The Internet

When you child has access to the internet.

1. Set controls on your search engine to lock out unwanted sites such as porno sites, etc.
   

2. Be involved in what your child does on the internet.
   

3. Make your child aware that people who communicate in chat rooms sometimes hide their ages, and motives.
   

4. Teach your child to never give their phone number, name or address to anyone on the  internet.
   

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Cyber Sitter

Safe Browser

Safekids.com - Online advice

Child Spy Software

Depart of Education - Parent's Internet Guide

Microsoft- Internet Safety

Internet101.org

Effective Gun Safety

|Statistics|

The question that I get asked more than any other is "How do I protect my child from guns?".  This question is a valid question.  Protecting your child from a fatal gunshot is independent of your choice to own a gun or not.  

 Consider this. No  lawnmower owner would dream of allowing any child to simply go and play with a running lawnmower.  Mowers are dangerous to operate, and a safe vigilant attitude must be maintained when using them or the operator can be injured.  Only a child old enough to be responsible and safe, would be allowed to operate the mower and then, only after being trained in its safe operation.  Interestingly enough, the same is true of guns. 

Most children, today are injured or killed by guns while handling them in their or another child's home.  These are children that have not followed the safety rules about guns! Remember, your child can be a victim of a fatal gunshot even if you don't own one. If your child goes to spend the night with a friend and that child or yours finds a gun and plays with it, it is quite possible that one of them will be injured or killed. Boys commit 80% of the fatal shootings!  

150 years ago, LOADED guns existed in almost every home. All children were trained on the safe operation of firearms. At very young ages they were trained not to touch them. When they were old enough to be trusted, they were trained how to safely operate them. This was a part of their lives. They were also trained to watch out for themselves.  If they didn't and wandered off into the wilderness, they were subject to being killed or injured by many threats in the wild. Today our children are not trained to watch out for themselves. We allow our children to go to other people's homes and never even inquire if a gun is in the home.

Parents rules:  When your kids are small train them about the rules but no access! When, in your estimation they are old enough,  trustworthy and properly trained, then consider Adult-supervised access for sporting or hunting purposes with responsible, trained adults. When your child visits others, inquire about the access to firearms.

Simply put, small children and guns don't mix.  If you have firearms in your home, you are obligated to ensure you children will not hurt themselves or someone else.  If you are an adult and have no firearms training, you should not own or handle a firearm. If you fall into this category, either learn or stay away and if you choose to stay away teach your children the rules anyway!  

Those of associated trained in the military call guns by another name, "weapons".  In the military, guns are issued for killing.  They are in fact, weapons. As civilians we call guns, "guns" because they are used for sport as well as hunting and protection. Guns don't kill children, irresponsible adults who fail to train their children and fail to demand their child's adherence to the rules, DO! Even if you hate guns, you have a duty to train your children the rules!

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TIPS: Gun Safety

Parents Advice

1. Teach your children about guns. 
   

2. Teach your young children the rules about touching guns. Send your older children to firearms safety courses.
   

3. Talk to the parents of kids your children visit and let them know your concerns about guns in their homes.
   

4. Teach your kids about guns at school. They should never bring them or talk about them.
   

5. Teach your kids that if they see a weapon at school, they should tell a teacher immediately.

TIPS: The Rules

Small Children & others without Gun Safety Training.

1. If you see a gun or find one, DON'T TOUCH IT!
   

2. Run away from the Gun and or person with it!
   

3. Tell an adult immediately!
   

Older Children with Gun Safety Training

To & From Shooting

1. Always transport your gun unloaded with breach, cylinder or slide open.
   

2. Never run or climb anything with a loaded gun on your person.
   

3. Store guns and ammunition in separate places in your vehicle unless licensed for personal  carry.
   

4. Always keep your guns pointed away from everyone including your self and barrel pointed down.
   

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Kids and Guns

National Rifle Association

Hunter Safety

Guncite- best stats on use of guns  for defense in US

Gun laws by state

Concealed carry laws by state

Ted Nugent's website!  Thats right!

Statistics- The Facts

Fatal gun accidents declined by almost sixty percent from 1975 to 1995, even though the number of guns per capita increased by almost forty percent.

Fatal gun accidents involving children (aged 0-14) also fell significantly, from 495 in 1975, to under 250 in 1995. More children die from accidental drownings or burns than from gun accidents.

Don't believe it? check it out yourself.

Gun Accident Statistics

Child Abductions

There are many things that happen that you never see in the news.  Child Abductions fall in this category.  You probably think, "That's not true, I heard about one last month."  Well the fact is, over 115,000 kids are abducted by non-family members and over 300,000 by family members each year.  That's right! that is 865 a day on average.  Did you hear about all of those on the news last night? No way!  This happens so often that it is not newsworthy. 

Remember, your small child is not qualified to watch out for him or herself. That is why God gave them you.  You have to watch your children when they are at risk of being taken. Places such as malls, sports parks, school yards, front yards, etc are ideal places for abductions.  Ask yourself this question.  Would I take my eyes or hands off my purse or wallet here unattended. If the answer is no then you should not leave your child unattended there either.

Remember, there is no substitute for YOU keeping your child safe. YOU are responsible for them when they are little. As they get bigger, you must teach them about the risks and what to do when confronted by someone that might hurt them.

The TIPS guide to the right have the details.

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ADDITIONAL LINKS

Megans Law Website

Jacob Wettering Foundation

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children

Escape School

TIPS: Child Abductions

Preventing Family Abductions

1. If you are in a custody battle, be prepared!
   

2. Notify local law enforcement if a family member is suspected of plotting an abduction.
   

3. Prepare teachers, coaches, and your attorney that this is a risk.
   

4. If your child is old enough, explain to them what you expect.
   

5. Seize complete control over your child's whereabouts until the issue is resolved.
   

6. Attorneys are not always experts. Remember it is easier to apologize to a judge or your Ex-spouse than to retrieve your stolen child from an unreachable abductor.
   

7. Work with your attorney and the courts to keep physical custody of your child until you are sure the child will safe.

TIPS: Child Abductions

Preventing Non-Family Abductions

1. Don't Give anyone you don't trust implicitly, access to your child.
   

2. Always keep your eyes or hands on your child  in public places.  If you can't grab them, someone else can!
   

3. If your child disappears, go to the exits. That is the way the abductor is going to escape.
   

4. Never let your child go in a public restroom alone! Ask yourself, can he or she fight off an adult killer? If not, go with them. Your son is at greater risk than your daughter in a public restroom.
   

5. Teach your child how to cope without you. How to ask for help and who to ask.
   

6. Teach your child that they can hurt an adult that is hurting or stealing them.

Car Seats

It never ceases to amaze me that people somehow think that seatbelt laws and child restraint laws are optional.  What I have found is that there is a huge ignorance on the part of honest, well-meaning parents when it comes to kids and car seats.

 I am certain that every parent would wise up it if they had to ride with a police officer to one vehicle accident involving a child fatality. 

Folks , here are the facts.  170,000 kids are severely injured each year and 1,400 kids are killed in automobile accidents.  Child Restraints could have prevented many of the injuries and deaths.

Here is how they work. A child safety seat or seat belt lets the child stop as the vehicle is stopping by holding the child in the seat. During a crash, the safety device distributes the tremendous forces of rapid deceleration over the larger and stronger parts of the child's body, such as hips, shoulders and chest.  When the vehicle finally stops, the child is traveling slower than if he or she were not restrained. The old adage "it's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop" is a good way of thinking about it.

Most children are killed in one of a few ways. The are killed when they are crushed or decapitated by an airbag, when they hit the windshield, dash or doors of the car or  crushed by adults that are holding them. 

Seatbelts can kill also. Children restrained improperly with seat belts at too young an age, have their soft tummies crushed by the seat belt because it does not lie on the child's lap.  That is why plain old seat belts are sometimes called "Lap Belts"

There are four types of Child Restraint safety devices for use with kids.  They are Rear-Facing Infant Seats, Convertible Seats, Booster Seats, and Lab/Shoulder Belts. Each has parameters and restrictions for use.  

The TIPS guide to the right has the details.

If you follow the TIPS and rules about, age, child weight, and device usage parameters and restrictions, you greatly increase the survival odds for your child in an auto accident.

Remember!  "Buckle Up!" 

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ADDITIONAL LINKS

Car seat buying tips

The Riight Car Seat-Calculator

Car Seat Manufacturers

Comprehensive Link list for Car Seat info

TIPS: Car Seats

The Right Seat for the Right Job

No pre-1981 seats!

1. From birth to 12 months and 20 pounds. Use a Rear-Facing Infant Seat. Always in the rear seat and in the middle of seat.
   
   

2. From 12 months or 20 pounds to 4 years or 40 Pounds.  Use a Convertible Seat
   
   

3. From 4 to 8 years of age and 40 to 70 pounds. Use a Booster Seat.
   
   
   

4. For 8 years old or over 70 pounds. Use a seat belt alone if it fits across the child's hips and does not cross rh child's face or neck or ride up across the stomach.

TIPS: Car Seats

Keeping them happy in a Safety Seat

1. Buy a seat made of lightly colored fabric, they are cooler.
   

2. Use a seat from the very beginning, from the first ride home.
   

3. Set an example-tell your child you buckle up too!
   

4. Give praise for appropriate car behavior and using the seat.

TIPS: Car Seats

Dispelling Myths

1. Your child is not safer in your arms.
   

2. You can't grab you child in a crash, you are too busy having an accident.
   

3. You are more likely to be unhurt with your seat belt on so you can escape any fire that may occur.
   

4. The chance of you being saved by being thrown from the car is small.
   

5. If you don' wear one they won't either no matter what you think or say.
   

6. The Child Restrain Manual that came with the device was not written for someone else.

TIPS: Car Seats

Where kids should never ride!

1. Kids should never ride in the bed  or on the rails of a truck.
   

2. Never let them ride in the cargo area of a van or station wagon.
   

3. In a safety seat without the restraints engaged.

Rape Drugs

Lets face it, our kids don't always do what we tell them. Even when we think they are mature, they will surprise us with decisions that seem idiotic.  With this as a given, it becomes even more important to talk very seriously about date rape and rape drugs with our teens that date or go out with their friends.

Here is the scenario: The victim is a  party or bar and has something to drink. The attacker slips Rohypnol   or GHB into the drink. 20 minutes later the victim feels very drunk.  The attacker volunteers to escort the "Sick" person home.  Once out of public eye, the victim is taken to an arranged location and raped.  Several hours later, the victim awakens with great disorientation and cannot remember what happened.  Most victims find evidence that something was done to them. Over a couple of days they are able to piece some of the story together. Most never have any memory of the event.

Most of these attackers video tape or photograph their escapades.  The tapes almost always surface and are used as evidence to convict them. There is a down side to this. Imagine sitting with your daughter or son in a Police Station as a Police detective shows both of you a video tape of them being raped and sodomized while in a comatose state. Let me tell you right now, an ounce of prevention is worth all of the cure in the world.

Your children and teens need to be taught exactly what to do when out with others. You need to know who they hang out with and you need to assert your responsibility as a parent and control who they spend time with.  Your children will hold you responsible at some point for failing to protect them.

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Date Rape Drugs

Date Rape Prevention Video

Recreational Drugs Information

Safety for girsl video!!

National Crime Prevention Council on Date Rape

Best Child Protection site I found

Date Rape Primer for Parents

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TIPS: Rape Drugs

The dope on Dope

1. Rohypnol (flunitrazepam) is a strong sedative which is similar to the drug Valium, but is 10 times stronger than Valium. The pill is similar in shape, size and color to aspirin.  Drug street names changeall the time, but it is often known as: "roofies", "rophies", "roche", "rope", "R2", and "Trip-and-Fall".
   
   

2. GHB is Gamma Hydroxy Butrate. It is a powerful synthetic drug that acts as a depressant on the central nervous system. GHB is usually found in liquid form that is colorless and odorless, and has no taste when mixed in a drink or water. Powders are available. Since the actual amount of GHB is unknown, the risk of toxic effect is great.
   
   
   

3. MDMA or Ecstasy (3-4-methylenedioxy
   methamphetamine), is a synthetic drug with
   amphetamine-like and hallucinogenic properties. Ecstasy come in a tablet form that is often branded, e.g. Playboy bunnies, Nike swoosh, CK. Taken in pill form, users sometimes take Ecstasy at "raves," to keep on dancing and for mood enhancement. Older teens and college students often frequent raves.
   
   

TIPS: Rules for Dating

When ever they go out.

1. Buy your own drink no matter what it is.

2. Always keep your drink in your hand and don't taste anyone elses.

3. If you feel sick or drunk, call a trusted adult and tell them you feel sick and are coming home or have them come get you.  Never  leave with an acquaintance  or date without telling someone you trust.
   

Teen Driving

There is probably nothing more frightening for a parent than to be wakened by the phone when one of their teenagers is out with the car. Every parent that has a driving teenage, worries about their child being injured or killed while riding or driving in a car.  

These fears are not without reason. Teens are the worst drivers on the roads and insurance companies could write treatises on this subject filled with statistical facts to prove it.  Lets face it, even the most mature teen has limited judgment and no experience driving. When this is combined with new found freedom and encouraging friends, alcohol experimentation, drug use, general aggressive behavior and a general lack of for thought, the  consequences are often catasrtophic.

What do we do? First, good driver training for teens is essential. It starts with the way you drive when they are in the car each day. Remember, you are their hero no matter what they say and if you drive like a nut, they think it is OK to drive like a nut as well. If you talk on your cell phone, don't use your blinkers and run every yellow light, they will too no matter how many driver ed classes they go to. Second, spend some time with your kid behind the wheel.  If you don' have the patience then find an adult friend or family member that does and get them some practice at the local church parking lot or high school.

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TIPS:Teen drivers

Before they get the license to kill.

1. Talk to them about driving when they are still willing to listen, i.e. at age 10 - 12.  Explain as you drive along what you are doing, what you are looking for and why.
   

2. Take them to the local church parking lot, with permission and give them some practice when they are about 14 years old.  This will be a source of excitement and enthusiasm for everybody!
   

3. Insist that they take the drivers education class at their local high school or State Department of Safety.  It will give you lower insurance rates and give them some exposure to the traffic laws.

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Teen Driving Tips from a young driver.

Driving Home Safe - Good Site

Managing Your teen Driver

Super teen Driving School - Might save your teens life!

Highway Safety-Teen Driving

Help Your Teen

Gangs

In the last 25 years, gangs have become the scourge of almost every american city.  Gangs are now moving to rural areas in search of places to hide and operate without police interference.    There are about 31,000 gangs in the US holding memberships in excess of 850,000 members.

Why do kids join gangs?   The answer is simply.  The join for the same reasons adults join groups of various sorts, simply because there is an advantage for membership.  Status is increased for many kids, their position is elevated amongst their classmates and neighborhood friends.  There is excitement, selling drugs and carrying weapons.   There is a sense of family or identity for those that have strained family relationships or are without parents.  Protection from other gangs is a factor. Some kids see gang membership as a way of being protected from other gangs.

What do they do.  They engage in all kinds of criminal activites including selling drugs, theft, robbery, contract murder, and violence in general.  There are different kinds of gangs. There are social gangs, drug gangs, street gangs, prison gangs, female gangs.

Gangs tend to specialize in their crimes. African-American Gangs a relatively more involved in drug offenses. Hispanci gangs are into turf-related violence and White and Asian gangs are into property crimes.

One common theme with them all is that contrary to popular belief and movie portrayals, gangs rarely plan their violence.   The violent activites they engage in tend to be spontaneous.

Females tend to be used for sex and are treated very harshly.

The warning signs are obvious.

Sudden Poor Academic Performance

NonInvolvement With School

Relatives Are/Have Been Gang Members

Marks Himself/Herself With Tattoos/Burns

Using a Nickname or Attaching a Prefix

Uses Gang Graffiti on Book Covers, Folders

Suddenly Purchasing or Wanting Clothing All of One Color (Specially Blue or Red)

Wearing Sagging Pants Down to the Hips

Wears an Excessive Amount of Gold Jewelry

Using Hand Signals

Sudden Change in Friends

Suddenly Argumentative

Desiring Too Much Privacy

Developing Sudden Rebellious Attitude With Parents and Teachers

Starting to See Signs of Tobacco, Alcohol, or Drug Use

Sudden Affluence (Money, Clothing, Car, etc.)

Sudden Negative Police Contact

Excessive Disciplinary Referrals

If your child is involved in a gang, you, your family and your child are at grave risk of injury or death. If you ignore it, you or your child may be a victim. 

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TIPS:Gangs

Female Gangs

Female gangs have experienced a growth of approximately 200% nationally, as reported by legal sources.

Most female gang members come from troubled or unstable homes.

Female gangs and their members are often very violent.

Colors and styles of dress often mirror their male counterparts.

IThe gang usually replaces the family or becomes equally important.

Almost all female gang members have been severely sexually and physically abused in their past.

Most female gang members display more aggression and rage than males who
participate in gang activities.

Female gang members most often engage in acts of prostitution or armed robbery as a way to secure money.

Female gang members are often courted or "diced in" by either witnessing acts of violence or participating in acts of sex based on the number which comes up on a dice
when thrown.

Gang Indicators

Baseball Caps
Red or Blue Pro Team Logos
Black (Raiders) Writing on Caps: #13_14," "S.O.S.," "Cuz," etc.

Bandannas
"Rags"
Red = "Bloods" "Nortenos
Crips = "Blue" "Surenos"

Shirts / Jackets
Pendletons Still Popular Raider Jackets (Neutral)
Jerseys With Appropriate Numbers ("13," "14")
Jerseys With Appropriate Colors: Red, Blue/Nicknames

Pants / Shoes
Jeans (Pressed) to Khaki
Work Pants, Suspenders (Retreatists, Hate Groups, Skin_Heads)
Doc Marten Boots (Retreatists), Nazi Boots
Canvass Shoes (Hispanic)
Brand Names Tennis Shoes British Knight Also Stands for (BK)=Blood Killers
Colored Shoelaces

Tattoos/Burns
Mostly Self_Inflicted (Pins, Knives)
Teardrops, Spider Webs (On Neck or Next to Thumb)
Look for "Hate" on Knuckles, "Sur," "Norte," "13" or "14"
Eagles on Vietnamese Gangs
Cigarette Burns on Arms or Chest (Filipino) (The More Burns, the Higher The
Rank)

Jewelry and Other
Heavy Gold Paraphernalia (Retreatists)
Dark, Gold_Trimmed Sunglasses
Beepers, Car Phones
Plain Dark Glasses (Hispanic, Samoan, Asian)
Hand Signs

Hairstyle
No Real Common Style
Shaved Head, Cropped (Retreatists)
Lines, Symbols, "13" or "14" Shaved in Hair
Shaved Sides with Long Tail in Back Popular with Blacks, Hispanics, Filipino,
and Some Asian

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Gang Information

Gangs-R-Us-- good site

Hate Groups

Tattoos that Identify

Gangs 101

Personal Safety

Every one has become more aware of the fact that personal security is something to be considered. 

The simple fact is, that any violence that might ever be perpetrated against you can be avoided.  The big question is, how?  Almost all victims of violence say the same thing to the police officer or deputy that interviews them, after the crime.  They say " He just materialized next to me with a knife and I thought he was going to kill me."   Well the fact is that the criminal actually got out of a car, fifty feet from victim and walked across the parking lot without being noticed.  Why? Because most of us walk around in a fog.

Criminals pick victims the way lions do on the African Plains. Howeve, we don't have the correct picture of how this works. Lions don't pick the weak or sick, these animals don't survive long enough to be consistant prey.  Lions pick out the prey that are inattentive or distracted.  that is the way criminals pick targets. Thugs and cutthroats pick victims not oppponents.  Being alert will prevent 99% of any violent confrontations that you will ever encounter!

Folks, you have to be aware of who and what is going on around you at all times. When you turn onto your street at night, when you park in the mall parking lot and when you exit the doors of the grocery, you should be aware.  If you see and make eye contact with a possible attacker, he or she is more likely to judge you as an opponent, not a victim and choose someone else.  You are responsible for your own safety. The police have no duty to protect you, only to enforce the law. If you don't believe me, check out  this 1993 U.S. Supreme Court Case: Rogers vs City of Port Huron (U.S. Sup., 1993).

The TIPS guides below and to the right have the details.

(Click here to go to the top of the page)

TIPS:Once confronted

What to do if confronted by a violent person.

1. Have an aggresive attitude about surviving. It is you or them. Never stop fighting!
   

2. Watch their HANDS!!! they may be ugly but their hands are where the weapons are.
   

3. Control distance. get some quick between you and them.  If thye are close enough that you can't see their feet, they can tough you.

4. Use obstacles such as the car, door, shopping basket, shopping sack or your purse to distract the thugs.
   

5. If you have to fight, ATTACK HARD and FAST. No hesitiation, action is always faster than reaction.

TIPS:In the Fight

What to do when in the frey!

1. Hit hard and fast.
   

2. Go for easy parts, ear lobes, eyes, hair, beards.  Once your have their ear in your hand, show it to them. They will be going in the other direction.
   

3. Scream loud. Make them deaf with your WAR CRY!
   

4. Stomp feet, and kick for the knees. Bite anything you can get your teeth on.
   

5. Once you get away, stay away and call for help for you and the thug.

TIPS:Personal Safety

The 5 levels of awareness

1. White - You are at home behind locked doors in your pajamas on the couch. The only time you can relax completely. Basically, unaware, unalert, unprepared.  If you live in a bad neighborhood go to step 2.
   

2. Yellow - You are relaxed but ALERT with head up and looking with no specific focus.  This is where you need to be anytime you are out, whether driving the car, walking in a parking lot or standing in a store.
   

3. Orange - You have a heightened ALERTNESS  and are assessing a specific threat and thinking what if....This applies when the guy standing on the wall at the supermarket falls in behind you as you walk out the doors to the parking lot.
   

4. Red - You are in a confrontation with a thug. You are waiting on the mental trigger that will set you into action to defend yourself.   This is a line that you already have decided upon prior to this event. Thug makes verbal threat--mental trigger is activated -- you take action to defend yourself.
   

5. Black - You are in a fight for your life with a thug.  All bets are off. Anything goes to save your life.   The fight must be won by you or you are at the mercy of the thug. Thugs have no mercy!
   

TIPS:Who are the Thugs

Four characteristics of Thugs

1. Lazy - They would rather steal than work.
   

2. Inefficient - They would rather take the easy prey than the ones that pay off.
   

3. Stupid- They rarely assess anything of than a potential victims for anything other than innattentiveness.
   

4. Cowardly - Remember thugs are afraid of one thing, getting hurt. they don't have health insurance, short-term disability or paid-vacations. If you hurt them, they are out of business. They will have to tuff our their wounds. They will loose face with their criminal buddies. No thug wants to come home after getting his butt kicked in the grocery store parking lot by a 30 something mommy of two.
   

TIPS:Avoiding Violence

How to avoid violent encounters with Thugs

1. 70% of your input is visual yet you process only 10%.

2. Learn to observe unusual, unexplained and suspicious behavior.
   

3. Look for what is out of place.
   

4. Be aware. Thugs are not looking for a fight, they are looking for a victim

5. BE AWARE
   

6. Refuse to be a victim!

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Rangemaster-Super Gun defense course

Gunsite Training Academy

National Crime Prevention Council - Self Protection

City of Phoenix - Personal Safety

National Coalition Against Violence - Personal Safety

Bullies & Thugs

All of us have memories of being bullied by someone. Your children will be no exception. 29% of students claim to have been bullied at school. The problem with bullies is that most of us don't understand what makes them tick.  bullies are people who have low self-esteem.  They usually are controlled by someone else and resent the control.  They in turn, try to control others as a method of regaining some control in their own lives.  Most are exposed to violence and bullying themselves.

Lets face it, you kid is more likely to get a black eye or have his lunch money stolen than shot by a school shooter.

You must teach your children to be responsible for themselves. They must know that you will listen to their concerns about bullies and help them find solutions. They must understand that if a bully threatens them, they must treat the threat as real and deal with it.

If we as adults were confronted by a bully or thug, we would look for way out and if none was apparent or available, we would fight for our lives. There are no rules and you have to win.

With children, it is slightly different. You child's bully is looking for a target that will give in, not one that resists. The bully may get the best of your child once, but will look for another target if your child makes the bully's experience unfruitful.

If your child is confident and trained, their chances of  being victimized more than once by a bully will be small.

The TIPS guides  to the right has the details.

(Click here to go to the top of the page)

TIPS: Bullies & Thugs

Bully Survival 101 for small Kids.

1. No bully, big or small wants you to stand up to them.
   

2. Avoidance is the best first solution but not always possible.
   

3. Defending yourself by standing up to the bully is the next best option. The bully may win but will have a new-found respect for you and probably pick another target next time.
   

4. Always tell someone you trust and let the bully know you are not alone.
   

5. Ask your friends to stand with you against the bully.
   

6. Never start a fight or brawl but if the bully does, you finish it and don't give up until the bully does! Remember the bully wants an easy target, not one that fights back in front of everyone nearby.

Bully Survival 101 for big Kids.

1. Teenage bullies are more dangerous. They might be capable of killing you.
   

2. Avoidance is clearly the key if possible.
   

3. If confronted with violence with no way out ,defend yourself, and get away.
   

4. Jokes or insinuations about violence should be reported to parents and teachers immediately.
   

5. Talk to your friends and your parents about the bully.

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Safechild.org - bully information

Kidshealth.org - Bully information

No Bullies.com

Kids on Airplanes

Kids are flying on commercial jets more and more. There are times when kids have to be sent on airplanes by themselve.  

The first thing to consider is whether your child should be traveling alone for any reason. If you would not leave your child alone with total strangers at home, certainly don't put them on a commercial airliner to travel hundreds or thousands of miles with strangers. 

The second thing to consider is whether you have to do this or not. If the anwser is anything other an "absolutely" then you should opt for another solution to the travel delimma.

If you have no choice, then make sure that your child is equiped to make it alone.  All information should be provided to the child, flight numbers, telephone numbers and addresses of adults waiting to greet them, cell phone to communicate with without complicated dialing or procedures. The most important tool is a written time table that everyone has committed to memory. If your child does not arrive at the destination, you need to know what procedures the airline will implement immediately.

The TIPS guides  to the right has the details.

(Click here to go to the top of the page)

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Airsafe.com

Independent Traveler

United Airlines guidelines

Southwest Airlines guidelines

USAirways guidelines

TIPS: Kids on airplanes

Prior to the Trip

1. Mom and Dad must arrange with the Airline the process and procedures.
   

2. Have all contact information for child, including numbers, addresses, written out in two places for child.
   

3. Collect and test destination phone numbers for Airline personnel  that are responsible for child
   

4. Have alternate plans for your child in the event the destination adults don't pick up the child.
   

5. Re-Notify all parties the day before and day of the trip.
   

Day of the trip

1. Mom and Dad must get to airport 2 to 3 hours early to verify all arrangements with Airline are still in place.
   

2. Re-Notify all parties at the destination end.

3. Hug and love on your child before they go and tell them you will be tracking them the whole way.
   

4. Be prepared to work on the fly if something goes wrong and your child gets lost, left or detoured.

Childviolence.com
P.O. Box 4437
Cordova, TN 38088-4437

EMAIL
john@childviolence.com

God Bless America

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